Are you ready to have a baby?
When we got married, I was 30 and the wife was 25 and we were very clear from the beginning that we wanted to have a child while we're still young. My wife was the third child and she grew up with older than average parents, whereas I, being the first child, grew up with far younger parents. So we agreed to try for a child after one year of being married and the planning started.
These were some of the factors we considered when planning the pregnancy.
DETERMINATION
I always say “if it takes two to make a child, then it takes two to raise a child”. The world is moving fast and everyone wants to experience everything and it would be unfair for one partner to take up the entire load of parenting and miss out on individual personal moments. It is a commitment a father needs to adhere to most. It was a promise not just to my wife but mostly to myself that I will be involved in my child’s upbringing and this is what has me going till this day - sheer determination to always be there.
HEALTH CHECK
Today lifestyle changes dictate our health journeys and we need to be aware of our bodies, especially when we decide to have a child. I remember getting a sperm analysis test done to understand sperm count, motility, shape and size. I had also got a full body check-up (blood, pressure, urine, sonography, dental, etc) to make sure that everything was in order, thankfully I was in good shape. Similarly my wife also got her full-body check up and this gave us the confidence to go ahead and try to get pregnant.
SELECTING A GOOD GYNAECOLOGIST
Another very important step, especially for your wife/partner is to find and trust a gynaecologist. We were recommended one, and instantly fell in love with her. The top priority was that my wife was very comfortable with her, to the extent that we compromised on the distance from home, just to be consulted by her. In my opinion this is so vital for the pergnancy journey because the kind of guidance you need will come from your gynaec.
FUTURE FINANCES
Cannot stress how important this is! My wife had decided that she would want to take a step back from work, temporarily and concentrate on having a child. So we had to be very clear how we would manage the house and our current lifestyle. Clarity of mind is needed in having a smooth pregnancy because the last thing you want is the stress of money, driving a wedge in your relationship. So talk it out, be clear on your short-term and long term financial goals, expenses, cutbacks and support from family, if required.
WORK MANAGEMENT
If you want to be an involved parent, please start accepting the fact that you will have to disassociate from work to spend more time with your partner and eventually your child. This is the toughest thing that you will have to do, it is not something that will happen overnight but it will require a lot of practice, especially if you are workaholic.
TIME MANAGEMENT
When you are fuelled by determination, it all boils down to managing time in order to distribute your responsibilities. Chart out your daily routine and divide it into weekdays and weekends and see where you spend most of your time. So for example I used to sleep really late, engaging in multiple activities - reading, binge-watching shows and social media scrolling. At least twice a week I would end up working really late and then hang out with work friends. I recognised this as a potential area where I can remove some time and put it to good use when the baby comes and also try and get more hours of sleep in because trust me you will need this!
So back to our question
Are you ready to have a baby?
Be absolutely sure about this and if you need to talk to experienced parents in your circle, please do it and get a strong perspective before diving into this headfirst. Planning is most essential.
